The QES - A Guide to Business Writing (Contd.)
5. Write clearly, simply and specifically
Here are some common pitfalls to avoid:
- superfluous words
- pompous phrases
- vague, abstract words and phrases
- 'hedging'
- the proximity rule
- misuse of pronouns
- words with several meanings
- double negatives.
Superfluous words
- 'staff of suitable calibre and quality' (Overemphasis and confusion of meaning.)
- 'I personally believe...' (Who else believes?)
Another common fault is unnecessary adjectives and adverbs:
- true facts (If it is a fact it is true.)
- actively investigate (Can you investigate passively?)
- active consideration (Can you consider passively?)
- quite unique ('Unique' means the only one.)
- absolutely impossible ('Impossibility' is absolute.)
- an unfilled vacancy (A vacancy is something unfilled!)
- I would suggest (If you mean it, why be tentative?)
- completely fatal (Can something be half or partially fatal?)
The list is endless! Ruthlessly edit these banalities out of your writing.
Pompous phrases
This form of traditional, pointless jargon is described by the the Oxford Concise Dictionary as 'barbarous or debased language'. Many of the phrases are clichés that we use unthinkingly:
- 'further to the above' (referring to a heading)
- 'the aforementioned'
- 'at this moment in time'
- 'at the end of the day'
- 'in the not too distant future'
- 'a substantial proportion'
- 'for the reason that'
- 'taking into consideration'
Again, seek out these and similar ghastly phrases and get them out of your writing.
Vague, abstract words and phrases
Using long-winded phrases leads to vagueness. Be
specific in your writing. Do not write:
It was suggested that consideration be given to
the possibility of improvement in our facilities for
conferences with the object of elimination of noise
and provision of adequate ventilation.
if you can write:
We need a better place to meet. This room is
noisy and hot.
Use concrete rather than abstract words: they are more easily understandable. A concrete word is something you can see or feel. For example:
- chair
- desk
- computer
An abstract word is not something you can see or feel. They generally represent concepts (an abstract word itself!). For example:
- communication
- democracy
- memory
- facility.
Such 'idea' words need explanations - the more explanations the more complex the idea.
Try to choose words which convey precise ideas to your readers, for example:
Do not write:
transport facilities
educational amenities
communication
research facilities
computing facilities
worker on a temporary basis
in the engineering field
the human factor
if you can write:
trains, cars, lorries
schools, colleges
e-mail, letter, phone call
chemistry laboratory
computers
temporary staff
in engineering
people
The more directly you express yourself the happier your reader will be.
'Hedging'
Words such as 'perhaps', 'probably', 'comparatively', etc. are used by writers to avoid committing themselves. If that is your deliberate intention, then all right.
However, if it is not intended, it destroys conviction. Where these words carry such implications, avoid them.
Avoid words that sit on the fence and 'hedge' the meaning until it has no meaning. In the example below, the italicised words 'hedge':
Additional evidence suggests that the difference in the midrange of the curves may possibly indicate a curve form that our hypothesis may not adequately encompass.
Are you any wiser?
The proximity rule
Keep modifying words or phrases close to the word or
phrase they modify, otherwise your meaning will be
uncertain. For example:
A discussion was held on
overtime working in the office.
What went on in the office - the discussion or the
overtime working? Or was the discussion held while
the staff were on overtime? Make the meaning quite
clear; rewrite the sentence - even if it becomes a
bit longer - and use punctuation. For example:
A discussion, on overtime
working, was held in the office.
Do not write that
The work area needs cleaning
badly.
when you mean
The work area badly needs
cleaning.
Misplaced modifiers can also be amusing (but may make
you look rather foolish):
We saw a man on a horse with
a wooden leg.
The fire was extinguished
before any damage was done by the fire
brigade.
He told her that he wanted to
marry her frequently.
Misuse of pronouns
Be careful not to use a pronoun when you have already
used two nouns in that sentence - or sometimes in a
preceding sentence. For example:
Mary told Susan she was being
promoted.
Who was being promoted?
The car collided with the van
at the crossroads. It had to be towed away quickly to
avoid a traffic jam.
What had to be towed away?
Words with several meanings
Many words that have two (or more) meanings may leave
the reader in doubt about your message. For
example:
We dispense with
accuracy.
John is
aggressive.
It is practically
done.
If you are unsure of a word that you feel/know has more than one meaning, look it up in the dictionary! The context is often a clue to the meaning intended.
Double negatives The Double Negative is further discussed here
Try to phrase your message in a positive way rather
than a negative one. Instead of:
a decision should not be
delayed
write
a decision should be
made
Always try and avoid multiple negatives, such
as:
there is no reason to doubt
that it is not true
The chances of the reader understanding that sentence
as true or not true are about even!
Sometimes we can use a multiple negative to give an
extra shade of meaning. For example:
There is no specific reason
to doubt their claim, but previous experience . .
.
Before allowing this sort of negative construction to stand, make sure that it is really needed, either to make your point or add emphasis.
There are plenty of traps that the unwary writer can fall into. Those mentioned in this chapter are some of the most common. But don't let these pitfalls stop you writing. Just get it down on paper. The later process of editing will correct errors and idiocies.